Am not a VIRGIN anymore....

Enter a dark room, with vedic chants in the background. A dim light from a zero watt bulb lights the room. The floor is slippery from the oil. The rooms smells of oil, and there are oil bottles everywhere. No I was not in some petrol station. But I went to pamper myself with a nice full body Ayurvedic massage – Abhayanga. I have been doing some work on Ayurvedic massage therapists for a while now. Too much information from the internet and thousands of articles, endless phone calls and also been meeting a lot of people and talking to them about Ayurveda really got me all worked up for a massage. MY FIRST EVER. I always believe that we are all chameleons of karma and there is nothing on this world that can make us happy. We keep pampering ourselves with everything that money can buy or anything that we can buy. Work has been really busy and I was buried for the last one month (that explains my update status) I needed a break and I needed it fast. So decided to get a massage and totally rejuvenate myself. Took my car and went to the massage center. A huge – bulky square jawed woman with a small smile on the edge of her face welcomed us. (My cousin and I) My brain was full of ideas, Is she the one who would give me the massage? Oh my god, Do I really need this thing now? I havent had one before, so why try now? Then I think she understood the wave of thoughts in my head and she told me, For gents- Gents, For ladies – Ladies. I love the way she put it. Still cant stop smirking on that tone. I got up and was taken to this dark room, not big enough to accommodate more than five ppl. There were two guys dressed in a shirt and a veshti who greeted me and asked me to change. I was taken aback. I asked them 'Change to what', that is when I realized what I had put myself into. The rest Ladies and Gentlemen is what all of you have in mind. This tiny piece of cloth clinging on to dear life and dear skin was the only source of keeping my dignity at bay. Not in all these years have I ever stood like that in front of two grown men. Am straight – straight as Dhronacharyas arrow. And it was really uncomfortable. But then it was too late to back off now. I decided I might as well lay back and well try and relax. I hate oil. I hate the feel of oil on my skin, on my hair , and I HATE OIL. Being an Iyer there are quite a few religious functions happening round the year where one ought to have an oil bath. That is the day when the whole drama starts. I just would not let anyone have oil on my body, and here I was lying down on an oily plank in front of two men who had oil drippin all over their hands and I knew in a few seconds that would be applied all over my body. And apply they did, every inch, every nook and corner and they made sure I had the oil seep through my pores and enter the whole system. From head to toe I was drenched in oil and I could do nothing about it. Forty five minutes later and after having two guys literally man handle me and feel me up all over, I was asked to have a shower to wash off the oil and then pay up and leave. I was feeling like Jelly. I was dazed, disoriented and totally embarrassed. I paid those guys and told myself. NO MORE. I would much rather have a friend rub my back or shoulders over my shirt than have two men feel me all over. But If only there was a different masseuse? That explains the title – am not a Massage Virgin anymore.