December 26, 2005

Am not a VIRGIN anymore....

Enter a dark room, with vedic chants in the background. A dim light from a zero watt bulb lights the room. The floor is slippery from the oil. The rooms smells of oil, and there are oil bottles everywhere. No I was not in some petrol station. But I went to pamper myself with a nice full body Ayurvedic massage – Abhayanga.

I have been doing some work on Ayurvedic massage therapists for a while now. Too much information from the internet and thousands of articles, endless phone calls and also been meeting a lot of people and talking to them about Ayurveda really got me all worked up for a massage. MY FIRST EVER. I always believe that we are all chameleons of karma and there is nothing on this world that can make us happy. We keep pampering ourselves with everything that money can buy or anything that we can buy.

Work has been really busy and I was buried for the last one month (that explains my update status) I needed a break and I needed it fast. So decided to get a massage and totally rejuvenate myself. Took my car and went to the massage center. A huge – bulky square jawed woman with a small smile on the edge of her face welcomed us. (My cousin and I) My brain was full of ideas, Is she the one who would give me the massage? Oh my god, Do I really need this thing now? I havent had one before, so why try now? Then I think she understood the wave of thoughts in my head and she told me, For gents- Gents, For ladies – Ladies. I love the way she put it. Still cant stop smirking on that tone.
I got up and was taken to this dark room, not big enough to accommodate more than five ppl. There were two guys dressed in a shirt and a veshti who greeted me and asked me to change. I was taken aback. I asked them 'Change to what', that is when I realized what I had put myself into. The rest Ladies and Gentlemen is what all of you have in mind. This tiny piece of cloth clinging on to dear life and dear skin was the only source of keeping my dignity at bay. Not in all these years have I ever stood like that in front of two grown men. Am straight – straight as Dhronacharyas arrow. And it was really uncomfortable. But then it was too late to back off now. I decided I might as well lay back and well try and relax. I hate oil. I hate the feel of oil on my skin, on my hair , and I HATE OIL.
Being an Iyer there are quite a few religious functions happening round the year where one ought to have an oil bath. That is the day when the whole drama starts. I just would not let anyone have oil on my body, and here I was lying down on an oily plank in front of two men who had oil drippin all over their hands and I knew in a few seconds that would be applied all over my body. And apply they did, every inch, every nook and corner and they made sure I had the oil seep through my pores and enter the whole system. From head to toe I was drenched in oil and I could do nothing about it.

Forty five minutes later and after having two guys literally man handle me and feel me up all over, I was asked to have a shower to wash off the oil and then pay up and leave. I was feeling like Jelly. I was dazed, disoriented and totally embarrassed. I paid those guys and told myself. NO MORE. I would much rather have a friend rub my back or shoulders over my shirt than have two men feel me all over. But If only there was a different masseuse? That explains the title – am not a Massage Virgin anymore.

P:S On a different note, work has been great, the new house is just perfect, wish I could invite all you guys from blogworld for a party sometime. The weather in Blore is absolutely awesome and is bringing old memories in my head from time to time.

Heres wishing all you guys Merry Christmas and a Happy Nude Rear (New Year). A special thanks to that special someone for constantly kickin me in the butt askin me to update. You guys are the best and its good to be back just to start afresh.

November 26, 2005


Ladies & Gentle ppls...

I have a house of my own now. A nice small one bedroom house with an attached bath, on the second floor terrace. have my house on one corner with a nice open terrace (full penthouse ishtyle) overlooking a number of coconut trees. Have never been happier in life.

Settin out on the next phase of my life and majorly kicked bout it. Shall post piktures soon.

Ahhhh the bliss of havin my own place, can do it up the way i want to. *wide grin*

Grahapravesam shall be on the weekend after I move in, which will be after the 1st of december, when the place is MINE ALL MINE.

November 19, 2005

One Message received

"Hi arbhind, bye arbhind ...dont come to light signal, dont come to a
distance either....bye arbhind, hi arbhind"

an sms I received this mornin from my 6 yr old neice.
What a way to start the weekend...and then ppl ask me

"why are u grinnin so much?"!!!!

November 06, 2005


Beneath the dark depths of human reality
Beneath the shallow shades of human soul

Beyond the infinite source of light
Beyond the definite shape of the moon

Wake the heart in you
wake the mind above you

For he, the all powerful is watching over the surface
You are but a shadow called man

In his abode be rest assured
That enlightenment is truth
Search the passage
find the meaning
find yourself!!!

Greatness lies in thou
The seeker, exploring the stars
Delicate hymns tingling around.

Subtle breeze blowing the chimes
Concrete patterns adorning the rays
Songs of Life, arising from within..

silvery strokes adorning the land
Amber palette cascading from above
Free fall of the mind

Into the mystic space of Hope
Gentle ritual of truth
A Musical ecstasy.

Blossoming beyond reason
Cosmic vibrations project a
Perfect harmony of the Body,Mind and the Soul!!!

October 27, 2005


A Tiny spec in the Cosmos

A Soul knocking on the Horizon

A Voice trying to be Heard

A Form trying to get Shape

A Blur, A Haze, A Shadow


Its Weekend Already!!!

October 17, 2005

Selfish Need

Ok here goes, for the first time in the last two years of my blogging life, am using this world for some marketing. I need some work done and well I need ppl. So ppl who are here.. (yea, talkin to u) Listen up real careful.

We Need ppl for the place am workin for now. We need marketing ppl. *Drum roll*
Basic requirement: someone with truck loads of common sense and ability to use HEAD (to think)
Men & Women welcome (though I would like boss needs somebody...yanybody)

*shakes head* I still can't believe am doing this and she talked me into this. Ok. Experience is not a criteria at all. If u need a job and if u are in the look out for a job, drop me a line.

Oh yea..who we are...we are into EVENTS.. We are an event management firm!!!

Interested? Drop me a line...

Ok now...what do I post..Regulars in my world...sorry. Suffering from writers block. Shall post somethin decent real soon.

October 08, 2005

Wish You Were Here...

For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals...then something happened which unleashed the 'Power of Our Imagination'...we learned to talk...

September 30, 2005

Point Blank

*The setting was a coffee shop normally filled with ppl except on this fateful day*
Three couples spread across the area, in all the corners, whispering sweet nothings and sippin coffee and other colored drink. And the Lean Dude, sittin alone in a table after attending an interview that went pretty damn well.

I order for my cappucino and wait while I light a cig and slowly take a drag and experience the smoke filling my lungs. My coffee is on the table, I take a sip and look at my phone that was lying on the table, after I hear two beeps signalling an sms. I was typing a reply, when I see a person walking in front of me and stopping rite in front of my face. I was still too busy sending a reply when I see the man, lifting his shirt and pointing his finger to the top of his trouser. *what I saw next was something i have read bout it in a lot of books and seen in a lot of hollywood flicks. A pistol was hanging loose from his trouser. Then I looked up to see a man in his mid thirties, hair pressed closely to his scalp, oily and with a huge brown shades covering has his face. Clean shaven- dark brown skin tone wearing a white kurta material shirt and jeans. I looked at his face and this was what happened the next five mts.

Me: *Having no clue and no expression. Looks at his face.
Him: What the F**K are u looking at?
Me: No expression.
Him: This is a .93 calibre. F**ker, I don't like ppl lookin at me (all this in broken english)
Me: *thinkin to myself..WHen DID I EVER LOOK AT U IN THE FIRST PLACE. U were the one who came and lifted ur shirt and showed me the gun*
Him: You think your cool? F**ker. I don't like ppl who try to look cool. I don't like long hair.
*sayin this, he walks upto me and sits next to me on the chair*
Him: I am D's gang member in B'lore. I don't like ppl lookin at me.
*Can smell booze. This guy is pissed drunk and has a gun*
ME: OK. *Don't have a clue as to how to react and Was not scared* Was thinkin this was all some was looking around for a car or a corner with a camera shooting this whole thing for some television show or something.
Him: Hey, stop looking. Do u wanna get up without a sound and leave now or do u wanna die here in the coffee shop? *sayin this, the man takes his hands to the gun and shows the gun to me again*
Me: *takes another drag from my cig and sips on my coffee..wonderin what the hell is wrong with him and the others, who all seem to be enjoyin their afternoon with their coffee*
Him: U will die if you look at me again. *Gets up, goes to the table behind mine and sits there and orders for coffee*
Me: *Makes sure I don't turn back and get a drunk man with a gun really pissed off*
Him: *Sits behind me and shouts to the guy in the shop to get his coffee and also buy a packet of cigs for him*

*after bout ten mts...with him sittin behind me..I was replayin the whole scene in my head, while drinkin my coffee*
ME: *Finishes my cup...gets up to pay for my coffee. Pays up and when coming out, dare to look at the man again*
Him: *smokin and drinking coffee, and looks at me* STARES BLANK on my face
ME: *continues to walk and does with out having a bullet up my head*

And I thought having a coffee at 12:30 in the afternoon in this city was a joy.

September 24, 2005


Originally uploaded by Lean Dude With An Attitude.
Thro with my Eternal Holiday. Miss the three little munchkins, endless nites, long days, endless coffee, new dimensions, family, mantras, sitting by the fire.
BAck to life in the concrete jungle, no complaints,back to endless nites at work, endless coffee, familiar faces, more family, miss the munchkins tho..

September 14, 2005

A Hole

OK, my last post was bout the reasons that attract ppl to blogging, and in the last one week, I have been subject to a lot of shockin, life altering and well just plain interestin news from the blog world.

What normally starts as a hobby, or a plain love and interest to write, share and communicate begins to slowly take its toll on bloggers. The most important thing being, u know that WHAT EVER U WRITE- others can sit in front of their comp and read it (ok smart ass, Don't even think bout askin me bout protected posts..shall take that very thing ur holdin in ur hand and shove it up urs.... *mumbles gibberish) . Nothing is personal. Well that's our choice, we get to choose wat others read. We get to post it, blog bout it or keep it to ourselves. There are ppl who start bloggin and are addicted to the comments bug more than their posts..They start writing for comments. Then what they write makes no meaning to what they wanna write. What they write is not really THEIRS. there is no human touch to it.

I have been in this world for quite some time to know certain aspects of blogging. Certain effects that blogging causes to ppl. The concept of personal space is intruded. The concept of time is royally fucked. It gets cramped in here, it gets claustrophobic, it gets too much of a load to keep givin things to ppl, coz they are hooked onto ur life. What is the end result. A temporary shut down, a period of hibernation, a break, a journey some place, or a permanent shutting down of the blog.

But it's not possible. They are already hooked to the crazy claws of this cyber blog world, that they return to write more tryin to forget bout the past as a mistake, learning from them, writing for themselves this time around, or just come back into the blog world with a new URL (makes life simple..or so they think)

It hurts me to see Strong ppl, intelligent ppl, dumb pricks, losers all falling into the pressures of the blog world.

P:S Come back ,I miss u already!!!

September 10, 2005

Blaags for weird ppl

What is it tht attracts ppl to bloggin?

Are all bloggers genuine writers, in their own league? DO they blog coz they love writing. They are just bored. They are software engineers, who are paid out of their brains to sit in front of the comp all day? Or pathetic lovers who take their revenge? Or just plain odd people tryin to sound philosophical or in simple terms, too stoned beyond.

What is the scene when it comes to blogs?

I was just the usual guy-next-door, hair messed up, too lazy to keep the huge lump in place, too broke and without a job to buy a clean new pair of jeans and a T-shirt. A boring day in college turned out to be my guru to this completely new world of Blog. I registered the same evening. A huge mug of coffee sure was the reason.

Here I am, I have a new blog now, wat do I do? The typical computer illiterate that I am, I can't differentiate between a flowchart and a venn diagram, a program and a problem, html to mtnl. It was strange. It was scary even. Why did I sit and fiddle with the crazy comp and the options that blogger gave me the whole night. This brings me back to the first para of this post.

Confused, frustrated and out of coffee, I decided I shall screw the demon (read html code) in the blog that was seriously tryin to screw me and doing a pretty good job at that. Endless attempts, failed attempts- endless mugs of coffee and a lot of ciggies later, i crack the code, and my keyboard. That's when I realised i sure have a strong head for things.

OK, i have my blog fixed. Used the template that blogger gave me, a 'Kaching' orange, a shitty yellow, a gooyie green and a boogie blue. (ah they all rhymed). Orange it shall be for starters. Next koshtin to self, now what? More coffee's later, I read some random blog from the net. Momma-BUn-BUM (no kiddin). read her blog, she was errr graphic bout her life and sexcapades, her kids and her nanny (don't ask me why) and she had so many ppl in her blogroll (the term that am familiar with only NOW). Who are all these ppl? And why do they blog? This brings me back to the first para of this post AGAIN.

Gosh! It's 4:30 in the morning. What am I doing up so late and typing crap on the comp? Am I one in the list? This brings me back to the first para of this post AGAIN....

Yea, am bored and I can't sleep. You have a problem?

September 09, 2005



September 05, 2005

Soul Searching?

Two months of hibernation later, its time I just give a doze of wats been happening. Simple pleasures of life, a well deserved break from things, even friends to a certain extent. A month in kodaikanal with three kids. Adorable is not the word to describe them. Their language, so simple, not the usual words that we use to make our point, but in their own special way, so innocent and so clear.

A prayer that had to be completed. A Padayathrai (religious walk) from coimbatore to Palani. A distance of about 120 kms in two days. A walk that was made so memorable thanks only to my brother who walked with us. A walk that was loaded with religious principles, stories, chanting mantras, bhajans, a walk that was for one purpose alone, to redefine our lives to be able to explore the inner depths of our spiritual mind and soul. To realize the importance of our birth and to juxtapose all this with the world around us. Slept on the floor of a tea shop on the first day and then on a roadside temple on the second night. The mind was so full of thoughts. The body gave way from time to time. The aches all over the body and excruciating pain in the heels and boils in the foot were all forgotten when we saw the temple in the distance. The focus was to complete the walk and to see the kids and other members of the family who joined us there. It felt so COMPLETE when we did actually walk up to the gates of the temple and saw the lord sitting there with all his usual decorations, clad in sandal wood paste and vibhoothi, like he was sitting there waiting for us- smiling.

A month in kodaikanal, totally cut off from civilization, from telephone towers, from work and from a whole lot of other things, life was phenomenal. Went off to coimbatore after packing our bags. The warmth of my home. The happiness that was engulfing all of us. There is no place like home. There is no joy like sitting with your parents, talking bout life, talking bout family gossips and talking nothing. I would give anything in life to have a complete meal with my family. You have to be there to feel the energy. A blissful week at home and I was back traveling again. Like I haven’t done enough in the last two months. In b’lore this time around, to see the world of a difference. The fast cars and the rich spoilt brats, the pubs and the parties, the coffee shops and the maddening streets. To think of it all, I like this tension around me in a way. I like this city and this city has given me so much in a way, that am still tryin to figure out what that is. The fashion capital of the south, the various lifestyles of the rich and famous, the cultured and the oh-I- Think am cultured clan. Not to forget the abundance of the most gorgeous women. In plain simple words, I love this city like I love my cup of cappuccino.

Not in my wildest imagination would I have ever thought that just an overnight train journey from B’lore would transport you back in time so much that you are warped totally. Civilization is of that of the 1800s. Hampi is a world that would take everyone by storm. So full of wonder and so full of mystic energy in that place. Anywhere you look there are huge rocks and boulders. Temples and houses look ethereal. The place was once vijayanagara before it was unearthed in 1810 and named Hampi. Even to this date, there are unbelievable number of temples and pots of gold under the earth that are waiting to be unearthed. The Thungabadra river flows through this mystic town, dividing the town into Hampi and Gangavathy. According to the Ramayana, this place is Kishkintha, the place where Lord Rama came looking for Sita and met up with Hanuman. The silence of the town is so breathtaking. Sitting on top of a huge boulder and watching the sun set behind the rocky mountains, overlooking the Virupaksha temple has left me mesmerized. Cycling through the little town, observing the architecture of the place, the culture of the place, the amount of backpackers from distant lands across oceans, the vegetation, the food, and the energy of the place, makes me understand the importance of my life, makes me aware of who I am and my purpose in this world. Anybody who is born in this world, has been blessed. This is the world where even gods come to cleanse their soul, the world where there are so many truths. The world that has witnessed so many events, the world where myths, Vedas, Upanishads, religion, gods, rishis are all intricate and make up our everyday life. I have never ever been so overwhelmed in any place to such a huge extent before. I have never been so quiet in my entire life. I have never been so quiet and still ended up finding so many answers before. You have so many thoughts in your head, at the same time feel so light and blissful. The trip to Hampi was a journey of sorts for me. It has made me a better human than I ever was. Everyone should go there atleast once in their life. Coz once you go there, you wouldn’t feel like coming back. There is so much to the place, that one can never grow tired of .One will only grow to a better level from there. When you do end up going there, close your eyes and say my name once, the energy am sure would reach me.

I am back in the concrete city now. Life is no different than what it was. People are no different from who they were. The same fast cars, the busy roads, the endless traffic, the maddening streets, the money, mobile phones, coffee shops, pubs, restaurants, movie halls, and they ask me what more does one want in life. I look at them, and I can only smile.

July 31, 2005


You shine like a million stars
You soar through the many skies
You radiate a thousand suns

Tied to the cosmos of love
Chained to the walls of hell
Bleeding on the ropes of lust

Rising with your smile
A gentle caress
Chill through my spine

Round and round
In the little circle of trust
What you see is what you get

Soft, Subtle and Smooth
Recording my thoughts
A puzzle, a maze

Kiss me, Hold me
Cut me through my veins
Blood on my soul

Pregnant conscience
Cascading thy heart
Rhythmic musings of a lost being

You are my Oracle
Meaningless Bliss
Absolut Joy
YOU complete ME.

July 24, 2005

Morning Raga

My life has been like the Morning Raga of sorts lately. I wake up listenin to the strong and powerful vibrations of mind blowing mantras. The cold wind blowing on my face, is a strong reminder that brings me back to reality. The air is always white, things around me are white, though there is so much green everywhere. The dew drops on the trees and on the lawn. The chillness on the tip of my nose, the pack of wild bisons on the mountains from time to time, the buzz from the many ciggys and coffee, the shriek from the kids every now and then, wetness, puddles, the ever smiling face of the youngest kid, long walks in the forest, bonfire out in the lawn in the cold nights, rains, sitting by the fireplace inside the house talking endlessly bout every single topic in the world, is all an eye opener of sorts.

Am not the lazy types. Am not the one who would sit in the same place for more than ten mts without doin anything. But this break has taught me so much more than I ever imagined in my wildest of dreams. It’s been like a dream. Nothing to look fwd to each day, but everything to look fwd to by the end of the day. I now believe that when you THINK right, whatever you think is RIGHT. The philosophy in all this process is simple, yet so complicated. Discussions so enlightening, the power of silence, the power of meditation, the power of POWER.

It’s a Journey, a trip, on a lone path, full of colours, full of light and so full of happiness.

Songs playing in my head
Sounds that are distinct
Secret thoughts out to be heard

Hear Me
Hear Me
Hear me out Loud

Piercing eyes
Sharp words
A gentle rub

Feels light
Feels divine
Feels Heavenly

Hear Me
Hear Me
Hear Me out Loud

Open those eyes
Open those ears
Open the mind and the soul will follow

July 12, 2005

A Circle called LIFE

Cold wind piercin my face
A wild buzz on my temple
Time comes to a standstill

Little ones around me
A smile so intense
So full of warmth

Life, has a new meanin
A soul, so full of purpose
Mind, calm and collected

Happy thoughts around me
A chill down my spine
Misty winds, flowing in the sky

Music to my ears
Music to my heart
Music So deep

Nicotine and caffeine
Blissful combination
Buzzin thro the nite

WHoa, The dude is back. A break that I very badly needed. A break to spend time with family.A break from myself, a break within myself. A rejuvinated Me is back in the blogosphere again.My life has come a full circle. Am not a quitter, I never quit from anything that I so strongly believe in.Life, friends, family, Music and BLOGS. I never shy away from anything. I have understood the very essence of time,I have understood the essence of blogging. I was a silent observer all these days. Walkin in and out of my world, in and out of all the other worlds, In my own world, a cucoon of endless nights and thoughts. Frantic soul searching and searching for a new beginning. I have it all now. I have it in me,I saw it thro six pairs of innocent eyes. so deep it makes u shiver. SO deep, so tranquil and yet so astonishing. I saw it in the eyes of three little kids.They taught me concepts that I just can't explain. They have made a difference I was seaking. They have brought in the purpose and I would proudly say, they have been the reason for my break and my return.

Sit back and enjoy. Let's get high tonite.

June 25, 2005

Nail in my Coffin

Live Fast
Die Young
And Leave Behind a Marketable Corpse

I finally decided to move on with life. I love this space, But I don't want anyone to step into it. Might be back in a day, a week or a month, a few months or even a year. Get the drift,I feel it!


June 24, 2005


I, I'm a silver lightnin bolt
Quick, fast in your face and then i'm gone...
you, you're a rush hour traffic jam...
i'm never where im s'posed to be on time...
And time again i'm dreamin of the sky...
time again, i'm thinkin of days gone by...
time again, i bite of way too much...
time and time again...
Here, so near but so far away...
the meanings lost in the translation of my thoughts...
why, why cant we just live the dream...
and not keep runnin round in circles all alone...
A special B'day wish to a very special person in my life..Happy B'day NISHA

June 17, 2005

A Special Bond

Train Set And Match, Spied Under The Blind
Shiny And Contoured, The Railway Winds
And Ive Heard The Sound, From My Cousins Bed
The Hiss Of The Train, At The Railway Head

Always The Summers Are Slipping Away

A 60 Ton Angel Falls To The Earth
A Pile Of Old Metal, A Radiant Blur
Scars In The Country, The Summer And

Always The Summers Are Slipping Away

When I Hear The Engine Pass
Im Kissing You Wide
The Hissing Subsides
Im In Luck

I sense it in me. I have begun to think. And this time am not drunk and am feeling great. Havent had the best of times the last couple of months. Been let down by people whom I cared for and who I thought meant a lot to me. But the last couple of months also have brought in special people in my life, people who have been there always, who I have failed to notice the way they were supposed to. There has been a sudden purpose in what I do and how I do things. It feels amazing to wake up and smile and know they are there somewhere thinking bout you and waiting to meet you real soon.

Blogging, when it started for me was more a channel to pen down my thoughts. I love to write and loved the whole concept of blogging when some entrepreneur introduced me to this amazing world. What started out as an avenue to help my writing skills, has led me to a whole new world, a whole new dimension where I have met some very interesting people and have learnt so much in life, that I bet I would have never experienced it, if hadnt been for blogs. There has also been the flip side of getting emotionally very attached to people who you havent seen or met. All you have Is a mental image for the blog, as the page unfolds a face, an experience, a life opens before you. Sometimes by the end of it all you are already drained out of every ounce of strength, but there would be some face out there who would wanna talk to you, who would want your help. You would want to be there for them, coz one way or the other, they have been there for you at some point of time. Nothing is expected, sometimes there are so many things expected that when you dont deliver, they take you for granted.

This is my space, this is my life, I chose to let people into my life and I very well can take them off it. I have made more friends than foes in this world. I have been at my happiest best in this world. I have been badly hurt in this very world. So what does this world have in store for me? What does this world have in store for every one whos been blogging or planning to?

I believe in the concept of soul mates. I believe in having the right one for you out there. I believe in people. I believe in myself. I would do what my heart tells me to. I would do what I have always been doing all this while. BE THERE FOR PEOPLE. If that is too good to be true or too hard to digest, then you could walk out of this blog any day, you could not care a damn, coz I don’t.

I love this world more than anything else and I love the people who come in. To all the people who drop in to my world, You are special to me and very close to my heart. You make my life worthwhile and you make me happy.

This post is a dedication to the special ones who have come into my life, through blogging. Thanx for being there.

Also to the ones who hate me- GET A LIFE! Or get yourself a new BLOG!!

June 13, 2005

Rudra (oodha) : Daddy, daddy, daddy...why is this a tape recorder?

Daddy: Because it is not a Cd Player

Rudra : (content look on his face and gets back to sippin milk)

P:S OOdha is 2 and a half yrs.

June 11, 2005

The world needs an update

Wazzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.*clears throat* OK, all good things need to be back in this world. That includes my blog too. Life has been sooo ful of action, I just dont think it would be possible for me to sit and update my blog at the moment. But for all the lovely ppl who come in here and dont see a change, well here goes. something to keep u occupied. I have been attacked by a taggie virus too. The taggie virus has just taken over blogworld. A nice trick to help lazy ppl like me update their blog and not think too much when we write.
Here is something that I was tagged with this morning.

The Worst Book Award:
Ahhh there are so many in this list..let me see, My maths, physics and chemistry books from school...Oh that doesn't count is it? Then I guess It must be The good home guide, that I read in the train while coming to hyderabad. Still don't have a clue as to what that book is about.

The Grossest Character Award:
Do family members come in the picture here? *If looks could kill I would have been dead 3987 times already.

The Largest Collection of Books belongs to:
My unc and aunt in chennai. They have quite a collection. Would love to have all of them in my house (when I buy one for my own) but don't think I would read them.

Five Lifechanging Books are:
1. Ishamael: A book with so much depth and meaning. Simple but so full of energy.
2. God Father. Must have read the book so many times that I actually lost count after the 78th time. The movie was brilliant too. One book that put the lines.. "Don't judge a book by it's movie" to shame
3. Am a great fan of the vedas, the bhaghavadgita. They have been in my blood from the second I was born. The chants, the rhythm, takes me to a different world every time.The spiritual travel that I embark on everytime I listen to them or read them can never be explained in words. It's a feeling.
4. Kill two birds and get stoned. the book and u would know *wicked grin*
5. Poems of Dylan thomas (thanx raph for introducing it to me) and a lot of other poems that really makes u wanna explore Life.

The Hyped Beyond Belief Award:
Ahhhh finally I have a chance to vent some frustration. Da Vinci Code, according to me is one book that can with this award pants down. LITERALLY!!!

What Am I Reading Now?
More poetry and lots of fairy tales for my little cousin.

Last Book that I bought:
The bumper collection of MAD

The One Book I Couldn't Finish Reading:
Memoirs of a geisha.. I have an E-book and it is really frustrating to watch a computer screen for a long time. Need - to - Compleeeteeeeee

Three ppl I would recommend this taggie..
Wogay, I need to be honest with u guys on this one. I have been witness to this taggie sessions all over blogworld. Someone needs to put a fullstop. Let it be me. So If anyone wants to get tagged, leave me a message and I shall tag u. Kapisch!

June 01, 2005


I hit the nail on the head.
*Does the whole war dance and runs around in circles*
And I have passed in Flyin KALARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!Topped the University and all that SHITEEEE
PPL who dont like me , well I have three words for you..

Evil villainous laugh

On a more relaxed mood, My retard cuz after a lot of coaxing and explaining has finally decided to start bloggin. ME wishin him all the very best in his comment searching journey.

May 27, 2005

Shine On

Dark clouds loomin over my head
Insanity slowly seeps in
Overpowerin , A Storm

Crisp light hoverin someplace
A ray, A spark, A soul
A Life!

Joy has no bounds
Ballads fill my life
Days are oblivion

Droplets fill my space
Lightning gives the finishing touches
A reason beyond a reason

Engulfed in the vast expanse of love
Too deep to peep
Too deep to resurface

Sharp, piercing and deadly
Void of language
A contest, A match , WAR

Can I play with madness?

May 22, 2005

Coffee, Long walks, Coffee shops, Black tops, Colored hair, Gizmos, Bikes, Nose rings, Black underwear, Cigarettes, Laughs, Sun, Sms, Stilettos, Beer, Phone bill, Zero balance, Cartoon Network, American History X, Linkin Park, Floyd, Jammin sessions, Music, Soul stirring, Meaningless conversations, Terrace, M.G. Road, Women, Espresso shots, Vietnamese Vodka, Hugs, Exhibitionists, Barista, Sunset, Harley’s, Monopoly, Filter Kaapi, Initiation, Waistlines, Agony Unc, Parties, Gold Medal, Dosa- Chicken curry, Orange Juice, House hunting, Pool side party, Rain.

The week that was!!

May 18, 2005


I did not expect any voice to answer, yet if a voice had answered me, I would have believed in it. If some voice had spoken to me there, out of the sky or the streets or the trees about me, or if some new strength had come into me there, or if I had felt again as I felt in the days of my innocence, The voice that would strike a perfect chord in the soul, the voice so soothing, that makes you forget, I would have believed in it. Yet I did not expect any voice to talk to me. That is the truth of it.

May 11, 2005


The warm, airless room is empty, waiting.
The wooden benches are free of clutter,
The blue polyester seats are folded, awaiting an audience.

Its 9:30: the show will begin in 15 minutes
Or will it?

The low- key d├ęcor is designed to defuse tension.
An actor is hired not knowing which part he is going to play.

He lurched into the dark room doing his mummys walk towards me
I screamed and screamed and screamed.

The nibbles were repulsive
The scorpion tasted like a toothpick
I chased the tarantula leg down with an eyeball.

Everybodys dying around Me,
There wont be anyone to say nice things about Me.
My funeral is already organized.

I want my body to be carried on a Gondola
I believe in GOD – but I've a feeling that he could have been an alien, from another planet.

May 06, 2005

In Absentia

You came in when life was peaceful
You came in when I had a life
You were my life

You looked when I didn’t want to
You spoke when I smiled
You smiled when I spoke

You were there when there was music
You were there with me throughout
You were music

You thrust that thing deep inside of me
You ripped my heart right out
You stepped on it with so much ease

And when I discovered how much you meant
And when I realized what I was missing
And when life was getting peaceful again

You just had to look at me like that and ignore
You just had to give that glance
You just had to come back and start the pain

Why pretend that there was nothing ever?
Why pretend that it meant nothing?
Why pretend?

It had to happen
It was bout time it did
It was meant to happen?

On a much different thought process

*I suddenly want to be a professional boxer
*I think TRAINS- from Porcupine tree is simply awesome (thanx xarazzin *muah*)
*I miss Raph & Choc more than ever today.
*I had the most amazing day today – 3rd of may
*I hate 3rd of may 2005. Wanna erase that from my life
*I think Americano is mucho cool than cappuccino
*I think my mom makes The BEST filter coffee
*I thought a lot today
*I realized that I hate to think
*Thinking too much scares me
*I miss being Two
*I think my hair really has grown longer than yours Raph
*Did I say I miss You more than EVER, ever and tons more today? Raph & Choc?
*I smoked a lot today
*I don’t really like smoking
*I wanna drive down to the beach, listening to music. But skip JESUS CHRIST super star this time around
*I need another cigarette
*I’m just crazy

May 02, 2005

Idle mind FINALLY at work

Walkin in the destroyed land
A thought more confusin than the world itself
Should I even be thinking?

We seek one another
We seek one to blame
We fuck one another, we just need the pain.

Lost in translation
Lost in my own world
Lost or Am I?

Am back home again. Been traveling a lot and I have no clue as to where I would be when I wake up in the morning. Every part of my body from waist down kinda hurts and I need to tighten all the joints of my body. I slept last nite in my own house and .I make a note here, coz the last few days I have been traveling all over the place and I was in one bus or another. Bangalore on one day, 6 hours of work and then I was off to kodaikanal for a house hunt. Few hours in kodaikanal and a LOT of walkin later I was back on the bus again and came back to coimbatore. Not sure how long I would be here, and when I would be back in B’lore or is another trip down to kodaikanal in the offing?

My brain has been witness to a lot of confusin thoughts and the whole lot of travellin ain’t helping either. An idle mind sure is a complete fuck up. Pink floyd rocks and I am not sure wat I would have done had it not been for Music and the book I’m reading at the moment. “Too Late the Phalarope” is an awesome book and I strongly recommend the book to the FEW ppl who read my blog..

Insights from the hectic travellin

*The Tamil Nadu bus service is pretty decent, their network sure is awesome (good thing)
*Never sit in front of a man who ate Three plates of briyani at 11 in the evening especially in a bus and when ur traveling on a Ghat Road. (Don’t even think bout it)
*Italian men can be err quite interesting, rite from their names, Met a man called ANDREA in the bus to kodaikanal. (saibaba devotee)
*A cross between a Brit and a Portugese is a deadly combination, met this woman who was a doctorate in Ayur Veda in the same bus. (now where is my oil massage)
*NEVER hire a cycle in kodaikanal, thinking you could peddle ur way around the place. The whole freakin place is a rip off.. (the bastards sell them in the plains- drat and double drat) Had to push the cycle uphill for five kms.
*Always understand that there ARE in fact ppl who don’t know the concept of a deodarant.
*Not all saibaba devotees are nice and soft, met a total jerk in the bus when I was coming back home.
*My hair has grown some more and the my finger nails are also long (ok now that is not just AFTER the travel, but just noticed when I was typing this post)
*My brothers’ four year old is the next Da Vinci. His sunset picture is ABSOFREAKINLUTELY brilliant.
*Never I mean NEVER ever in ur lifetime watch this Movie called MUMBAI EXPRESS (the kamal hassan movie) I feel like shoving my hand deep inside my mouth and ripping my intestines and throwing it. Especially when you haven’t been sleepin the last few days.

April 20, 2005

In My father's eyes

Sailing down behind the sun,
Waiting for my prince to come.
Praying for the healing rain
To restore my soul again.
Just a toerag on the run.
How did I get here?What have I done?
When will all my hopes arise?
How will I know him?
When I look in my father's eyes.
My father's eyes.
Then the light begins to shine
And I hear those ancient lullabies.
And as I watch this seedling grow,
Feel my heart start to overflow
Where do I find the words to say?
How do I teach him?
What do we play?
Bit by bit, I've realized
That's when I need them,
That's when I need my father's eyes.
My father's eyes.
Then the jagged edge appears
Through the distant clouds of tears.
I'm like a bridge that was washed away;
My foundations were made of clay.
As my soul slides down to die.
How could I lose him?
What did I try?
Bit by bit, I've realizedThat he was here with me;
I looked into my father's eyes.
My father's eyes.

The last one week has been a little too stressed out for me. Things haven't been too great. A sudden reality check in the bus journey from B'lore when I came home. came here only to have seen my dad get a mild heart attack and have been in the hospital the last four days. Sittin outside the ICU that nite, the whole world around u is soooo quiet. sad faces, tired faces, all havin a story of their own. The antiseptic smell of the hospital hits u rite on the nostrils. The eerie silence outside the ICU. The slight pat on the shoulder from unknown faces, the gentle smile that would mean the world to u. It was saddenin to hear all the probs that the others have. To each his own. But bottom line is they all care for their loved ones and if somethin happens to them, it means the world crashes down. Millions of thoughts and flashes from the past engulfed my mind when I was sittin outside the ward. A mighty pillar from my world was lyin inside tired, worn out and worried. Not sure wat was goin thro his mind all these years. He was always a strong man. He was a special friend, a great person to talk to and a kind soul for everyone. His smile radiated sooo much energy, it has given me the strength to go out there and kick some butt on more than one occasion. The second I heard the doctor say he needed to be admitted, I saw the look on my mother's face. She was shocked to say the least. She is a strong woman. she has cheated death many a time and is still THE person in the family. To see a person like her, upset and worried, was not a good sign. The last four days has been tough for all of us. But I know I have a wonderful family. Support from all parts of the world, from every member of the family and wishes and prayers and healing powers of my brother have all contributed in helpin my dad have a speed recovery. He is back, the heart attack is a signal to just let me get a reality check, bout myself, bout my family, bout the world and bout wat is instore for me in this world...

I love my dad and I love my family...

April 09, 2005

Where's the party Yaar?

Shake! Shake!
Don't go I believe in a celebration
I believe you set me free
I believe you can loose this chains
I believe you can dance with me
Dance with me

Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!
I believe in the third world war
I believe in the atomic bomb
I believe in the powers that be
But they won't overpower me
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go

Shake! Shake!
Shake! Shake!

And we don't have the time
And everything goes 'round and 'round
And we don't have the time
To watch the world go tumbling down
Go! Go!
I believe in the bells of Christ's Church
Ringing for this land
I believe in the cells of Mount Joy
Doesn't understand
And, and you can go there too
And, and you can go go go go

I believe in the walls of Jericho (And you...)
I believe they're coming down (Can go there too)
I belive in this city's children (And you... )
I believe the trumpet's sound (can go go go go)
And you can go there too
And you can go go go go..

I believe in what I'm doing
What am I doing here...

It's been rainin non -stop for the last one week,where ever I go!... And now I have brought rain to B'lore too. I love this city and it's good to be back. ************************************************************
Now where is the ABSOLUT

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go Arvind
It's your birthday
We gon' party like, it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like, it's yo birthday'
Cause you know we don't give a fuckIt's your birthday!

IT's MY BUDDAY..........

April 04, 2005

J'aime Pondicherry

I thought Beer & Biryani was the best combination, till I realised somethin else was mucho cooler than that. Ladies and Worms, I was in pondicherry this weekend and i had the BEST weekend Ever in a loong looong time. No deadlines to look out for, no pressure from work and just nothin in my mind other than all the pretty firangs there...Oh my!! *Hubba hubba*. (takes a deep breath)
Yanyways.. I took off for pondi with a few friends and reached the place at 8 in the evenin. Didn't go to our room or to the house we were supposed to go. Went straight to one of the many BARs the place had. I tell u this place is infested with wine shops and Bars. Everywhere u go, every where u see, you could see liquor overflowin.Beer round number one. Beer round number two and three later, one wise noble friend came in with tickets to a strip show. I was like, huh, wat u must be kiddin me kinda look and they were all already way tooo hyper and on their way to the show. Ended up goin to this small guest house (that's wat they had named it) the ticket amount was 300Rs per head. I was still really not in the whole "Am about to go for my FIRST ever strip show" they loved to cal it The Cabaret though..hehehe
Went in and saw the place already smellin of cheap booze and sweat, surrounded by cig smoke. A few minutes in the room and i was thinkin OH god, one and a half hours to go!!!

* The rest cannot be disclosed here, this blog is rated R. So details shall be spared*

Later that nite, we sat in the room and started talkin over lots and lots of Beer. this place is soo cool, Booze is available in such ease that ppl prefer beer to water. It was crazy, to see the amount of Liquor that was consumed that nite. decided to call it a day at bout 3 in the mornin. Sunday started off in a splendid fashion. had breakfast and took off on our way to the Beach. The scene looked simply breathtakin. Didn't waste any time in gettin into the water. From bout 8 in the mornin to bout 12 we were in the water. One thing bout the beach really pissed me off. there was a seperate area for the Firangs and the others. A rope segregated the beach in to areas for them and the others. What the hell is goin on? ANd there were guards standin near that rope to send the ppl away (the ones who dared to walk upto them and koshtin them) other than that, it was one amazing monrin. At bout 12 the clouds started gettin really dark and it started to pour. The sea became slightly rough and we decided to head back to our hotel and continue with our Beer session. came to the room, watched formula one and enjoyed the evenin in the company of Alonso and trulli.. Simbly brilliant wonly I say!!!!
Left POndi at bout ten and came home early in the mornin by bout 1. And the whole day it's been rainin here. I simply love this city when it rains. Been sittin in the 7th floor balcony of my house lookin at the Wet city, and all the trees with the chill in the air and the rain gettin to my face. OH my. The place smells gr8 and the weather is just phenomenal.
Just a couple of days and am goin to b'lore. Things are happenin and good things are happenin. I like the feelin that is over powerin me the past few days. Life is simply mucho cool and Am really happy.
BTW my works were screened in coll on friday and the response was gr8. They loved my ads. Thangyu thangyu!!!

*Damn I really wanted to write bout the Strip show*

March 30, 2005

Time and Time Again

Ahhhhhhhhhh....15 days of no bloggin, not much blog hoppin, tons and tons of work, a suprise blog meet, shooting for ads, music video and a docu later,The Lean Dude is back into the blog world and it feels sooooo good to be back.
In just another week I shall be free from all the things that's been tyin me up all these days..I shall be out in this world, takin off for a couple of months and then plannin to just go ahead and see wat life has to offer. Too much work kept me up the last couple of weeks, haven't had a proper nite's sleep in like AGES. But now to sit at home and see the work that I had done the past coupla weeks, I sure have the biggest grin on my face.
The music video and the ad I shot and directed have really come out well, They are goin to be screened in the coll campus on the second of april and am sooo excited for that. I just got an sms from my mom that she might try and come here for the weekend to see the screenin of my work, so now THAT made my day. ANd in the next week am goin to b'lore- a battery recharge is in the offing and well it sure is goin to be one WILD Budday for me when I go there. (note bloggers, MY BUDDAY IS COMIN UP...MAKE A NOTE...NOWWWWWW) heheheh
ANd the last week has been a revelation of sorts. I'm now the Band Manager for Powder In The Ashtray and am absofreakinlutely thrilled and over the moon to be the manager for a rock band. Where are the chicks? WHo needs the passes for our shows? Ok!! ONE AT A TIME PLEASE!!!
There are just soooo many things that have happened the last couple of weeks. ANd there is so much of catchin up to do in the blog is ready, the comp seems to be workin fine..Where are all the women...I mean where are all the blogs...
And I also want to tell u that Bhadinda is now safe and the cows are ok now, Crime fighting was never this fun and Well the world is safe now...

P:S MISSED ME? *Evil Grin*

March 14, 2005


Too proud to die; broken and blind he died
The darkest way, and did not turn away,
A cold kind man brave in his narrow pride

On that darkest day, Oh, forever may
He lie lightly, at last, on the last, crossed
Hill, under the grass, in love, and there grow

Young among the long flocks, and never lie lost
Or still all the numberless days of his death, though
Above all he longed for his mother's breast

Which was rest and dust, and in the kind ground
The darkest justice of death, blind and unblessed.
Let him find no rest but be fathered and found,

I prayed in the crouching room, by his blind bed,
In the muted house, one minute before
Noon, and night, and light. the rivers of the dead

Veined his poor hand I held, and I saw
Through his unseeing eyes to the roots of the sea.
An old tormented man three-quarters blind,

I am not too proud to cry that He and he
Will never never go out of my mind.
All his bones crying, and poor in all but pain,

Being innocent, he dreaded that he died
Hating his God, but what he was was plain:
An old kind man brave in his burning pride.

The sticks of the house were his; his books he owned.
Even as a baby he had never cried;
Nor did he now, save to his secret wound.

Out of his eyes I saw the last light glide.
Here among the light of the lording sky
An old man is with me where I go

Walking in the meadows of his son's eye
On whom a world of ills came down like snow.
He cried as he died, fearing at last the spheres'

Last sound, the world going out without a breath:
Too proud to cry, too frail to check the tears,
And caught between two nights, blindness and death.

O deepest wound of all that he should die
On that darkest day. oh, he could hide
The tears out of his eyes, too proud to cry.

Until I die he will not leave my side.

Rest In Peace - SANDEEP. Am sorry.

March 09, 2005


The melodious strains and the ferociously gorgeous voices
Peerless in the realm of music
Seeped into consciousness
And swept the soul to ecstasy on a tide of voices,
Stirring the subtle, subversive and surprisingly vulnerable senses
By melting the lingering resistance of consciousness.
While the soft melodies with their exotic vibes,
By wheedling emotions and demanding passion
Brought the heart to experience a visceral blast of romance and melody
And the blissful warmth, a surging current of love
Mirroring the innocently youthful spirit
Never failing to trigger the fabulous fusion of the soul and the heart
Unravels the power of mystery,
The mystery of music,
Giving yet another chance to experience the intoxicating magic.

Boom Shankar!!
That's how I spent my Shivrathri. Sittin in the balcony of my 7th floor apt, with Bob Marley, Roger Waters, and Eminem baba for company. BOOM SHANKAR!!

March 05, 2005

And the award goes to.....

No its not the oscar fever and well am not talkin bout wat I saw on star movies too. There was the Ad club awards show last nite in the city and ad agencies, friends, beer mates, ex crushes, present crushes and well a whole lot of other people were all there. It was crazy. Was lookin fwd to this for a while now. Five of my promos were nominated in the category of Tv promo spots and well- I got the BRONZE for one of the promos. Happy faces, charged up emotions, a few dope heads too. It was all there. My friend was also performin in the show and she danced really well. Over all a nice evening.
Durin the awards got a call from a good friend- he got a job in pondi and so he wanted all our gang to come to Bikes &Barrel for a beer. And the evenin was just beginnin to take shape. During the couple of hours I was there, a lot of things popped up in my head. Not coz of the beer or the endless smoke there, but more like a serious revelation. I love my life. I love my friends and Well I SHALL WIN AN OSCAR SOON. hehehehe

Edited after more beer and well a routine mail check before goin to bed:

Guys.....arjun class mates were prasoon, ajith narayanan, bobby, deepak, anitha etc......cant remember all the names,... i miss u guys a lot... i did my 9th standard in kv in the yr... 1997 and hope u guys remember we did a bhangra dance in state level.. prasoon, i and other guys in the group..shit... pls someone in this batch please replynow am done with my engg in ece and i got selected in the popstar selection by ss music channel called voicehunt. my video with the band will be out in this month in ssmusic channel, channel v and mtv.. the album is gonna release by 19th.our hoardings are put up in chennai and check out for the music... its rockindoin a movie also actin as hero in 4students 2part in malayalam...guys someone pls recognize and reply from this batchi miss u all a lot :-(check out the photo section to see melovmusicarjun

Have no clue who this person is. But if u guys know him. PLease reply. He sure misses u a lot.

February 28, 2005

An ode- a Code

Floors above floors
Dark lights succumb you
One bright light from the edge.

Are you the edge or is it just ME?
Pale looks on face
Straight as an arrow

What words I try and remember
All too bright, glaring so to speak
In your face, is that how you like it?

Things moving, no no revolving
Pieces of dirt strewn on the mat
Life, oh yea thats wat they are

Why are you looking at me like that?
Sharin wasnt this fun ever
Oh, Now I know. This is it!!

Why am I not heard? Why do I see it, why do I touch it?
Why is it there and not here? That is bright - way too bright for me.

Oh yea I see stars again - The one I have heard - NOW - I have seen.

A tribute to Sandy and Rolfy

February 24, 2005

Param param paraaaaaaa....

Work, editing, work, studio, recording, photo sessions, screen test, friends, coffee shops, sleepin at odd hours, not sleepin for four days in a row, forgettin my blog password, no bloghopping for a week, from being online for ten hours a day to not coming online at all in a week, missed chattin with online dudes and dudettes, running around in the city searching for a printer at 2 in the mornin, confused with work, confused with projects, confused with what am goin to do two months from now, completing my final projects, working on three other final project submissions, high on life, high on coffee, high on spirits, got my BIG BREAK, offer to act in a movie, absofreakin lutely excited and over the moon,BROKE (now that's not new)!!!

And yea finally am back from my little hibernation mode. Was in one compeletely different world, a world where your future flashes before you and it feels strange, It feels weird, it feels amazing and it leaves with butterflies in your tummy. I have been an internet junkie and a blog addict for a very long time. Things just started happenin way too fast for my own liking and I came to a position where my frequency of blogging and the necessity of blog hoppin came from other sources and not from my heart. SO thats when I decided to take off for a little while to try and see if I could get the transition I want from my life and my blog.

I started bloggin, since I loved to write, It was an avenue where I could just walk in and out when ever I want to and write and NOT write what and when ever I wanted to. I have to say, the world of blogging has revealed a whole new world to me. Everytime it unfolds, am subject to wonderful ideas, thoughts, and people. For many blogging is more like maintaining a journal, more like a day to day presentation of the happenings, and for many it is their thoughts, and a major part of life. I would say blogging for me is like COFFEE, its like DOPE, it gets you going, it gets you thinkin and it keeps you charged up. And I would continue to get HIGH. But I would do it at my own pace. I would do it the way I WANT TO...and I would just take it one thing at a time.

A year full of wonderful memories. A year of meeting thro this world a whole lot of amazing people. Special people. Weird people. Happy people. A year of positive energy, A year of happiness. A year of gettin mind fucked at times. A year of just being myself - as always. A special thanx to all my friends who drop into this world and who have kept this world alive and who have made my day on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION...LOVEEEEEEEE U ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL......
HAPPY B'DAY TO Moi BLOG.....HAPPY B'DAY TO Moi BLOG.....Happy B'day Happy B'day Happy B'day to Moi BLOG!!!!

February 15, 2005

The Swarowski dumplings

Sitting too comfortably, positioned like a baby in a mothers womb, on my 'Lazing’ couch, the spoon from the cup in my hand pricked my eye and dragged me rudely out of my dreamland. Peacefully noticing the view from my window gave my at most solace. Nope… I couldnt see the beach, or the mountains, not a lush park, not even a bunch of hot girls drying themselves after a shower!! Though, I was one of those lucky ones in the city who didn’t have their neighbours drying clothes peep into their room. In fact I had - MY guava tree.
Right now I was straining my eyes and contemplating the colour of the gum that I spat out last night and left on the tip of my favourite branch (Guess am not that great a spitter- dont look for that word in the dictionary!). I know the path to remove it from that tiny arm of my tree was not exactly treacherous, but, I think I;ll leave it there and see how chewinggum reacts to natures' 'calamities'.
MY guava tree was nice, with light green leaves flaunting their beauty to the dark green ones. The guavas werent there always, only from January to December. But thats o.k- the wait wasnt too long till the next bunch of guavas would sprout out for the squirrels and for ME. I had named the squirrels Tom, Dick, Tom's Dick, and Dick's Dick. Why (?) thats a completely different story.
Something was odd about these fruits, it wasnt something unfathomable, but to me it was unique. Maybe a Gardner with his knowledge would scoff at my fascination…but the fact remains...the guavas were not the usual cream coloured but rather PINK from the inside! (Pinker than a babys butt) And the seeds looked like Swarowski crystals adorning a beautiful rose coloured blanket.
One thing which seemed even more intriguing about these parcels of blessings was what I read in a magazine the other day. It said that one should never share a guava because only one seed in the complete fruit contains all the 'Essence' ! The one and only magic seed?!! Even the squirrels knew that, they would not leave a single fruit untouched, but they would never finish even one completely. Like they had this 'Radar' fixed to their obnoxious buck teeth which could tell them how to locate the secret seed! The seed that contains ALL the blessings.
Amazing how 'Lazy me' picked up a pen and jotted down stuff about fruits, branches and leaves… thought this little world would remain only within me… but then who can refuse the pestering requests of all u blogheads out there WHO WANT AN UPDATE all the time!!! hehe

*Drum Roll* ppl, thanx a lot for all those amazing comments for my previous post..I was really havin a tough time copin with a lot of stress from different corners...but then it is over now(I think) and long forgotten. I have just moved on and now have traced back to the route that I so love takin and walkin alone...but this time I would be smilin as always...and smilin coz I know my life is back on track and wonderful ppl like u are all watchin my butt....errr I mean my back..Cheers all and well I also had THE BEST valentines day ever....worked for 18 hours in office...NOW BEAT THAT!!!!!

February 11, 2005


I have a huge LUMP in my throat...It's killin me..The pain is unbearable, I have been a zombie this past week. Everyday I wake up and I hate to think bout wats goin to happen. I have never been like this and I don't like this feelin ONE BIT!! I could see flashes of my life just teasin me from time to time and givin me the finger. I've met sooo many ppl in my life. Some have changed the way I think, some have changed the way I work and many other changes in me have all been caused by my friends. I love meetin new ppl and I have always done that. But is that a crime? I have been honest with most of them...Welll ALL OF THEM, and is honesty such a Huge Fuckin mistake?
I speak my mind and I don't think before I talk...Err yea, I do have a predominant 'FOOT-IN-MOUTH' disease...but that's how I am...and that's how I have always been. And whethere u like it or not...I cannot change myself for any god damn thing. My mind is full of crazy things at the moment. people have been acting weird...I have been acting weird... Have I been leadin someone on? Have I been led by someone?
I just wanna vanish..I wanna just go away for sometime and not come back...For a looong loooong time..I need clarity...I need time.....and I just need Peace...
*Thanks to a special friend...who offered me some amount of clarity* But am sorry I really bugged u enough for one evenin....
I might be gone for a while...this is not a break from bloggin...this is not a break from things...and I am not runnin away...this is more like just takin some time to look around and tell ppl I have been HONEST- and I will continue bein that way...

February 06, 2005

Natural Shades

"Walking along the desolate stretch of tawny beige sand
Lining the vast expanse of turquoise blue sea
I watched the spumy clouds cradle the ivory moon and
The crimson ball with its copper pink and molten red ray
Go down the horizon.

While the waters presented a dazzling show
When fulvous yellow turned into fuscous orange
Hazel brown poured into scarlet red
Myrtle green melted into puce orange and
Gentian violet blended with misty mauve
The spectacle continued till the losing and reforming patterns of platinum and silver

Engulfed the velvet darkness and
Welcomed the azure sky."

There are so many things that happen in life. One day we wake up to the news of the tsunami and the next day we are back to living our life , like how we used to before. But for me life has become much more meaningful after 26 dec. I look at life in a much different perspective than I ever dreamt of. I have been busy with shooting for a launch promo for a new show that the channel is plannin to come up with. So I was out all over chennai the last couple of days. saw a lot of things, did a lot of work, we had plans of shooting a few shots in the beach. Went up to a fishermen's hamlet on the way to mahabalipuram and we had the shoot there. Sittin there with the local villagers and talkin bout their experience of the tsunami brought back a cold shiver down my spine. How difficult it must have been for them, and how it would take a lifetime for them to get out of the shock completely. But I saw how beautiful the beach was. It was calm, there was silence everywhere..My crew called the silence an EERIE silence. The beach always had that silence. That's why I enjoy my walk in the beach. As I was sittin there, movin away from the crew, the ppl and sittin in the sand, lookin at the horizon, my mind raced a million races with life. I could see flashes of a things to come. ppl in my life, I remembered ppl who mean somethin to me. I was just engulfed by the whole surrounding. It was magic. It was mystic, it was simply breathtaking.
Life is too precious. And I know the value of life now..and I know the value of my life more than anything else now!!!

February 01, 2005

Am startin on a brand new day!!!

"There are Ideas and there are Ideas. Whats the difference you ask?
When you unearth a real Idea - You'll know it".
A real Idea burns. It consumes you. There’s no other way to describe it. It roars and rips and tears and scalds till all you want to do is get it out of your system. And once it’s out, you can only stand back and admire its smouldering beauty.
It rained today (still is, drizzling) and it feels nice, to smell the air when the first few drops fall on the sand, the fresh look the whole place gets. It is breathtaking to see the drops still hanging from the leaves and the blades of grass. The whole world looks calm, composed and tranquil. My mind is racing against time, against deadlines, against pressures and still there is a sense of joy in my heart. The dark clouds that were looming over me a few days back were ofcourse the rain clouds. Now am glad that it rained.
I decided to walk to work this mornin, felt the cold drizzle on my face, on my hair. Felt the water running down from my long hair and on my shoulders and on my back. The chill I felt in my spine with the drops gently tracing its way down was an experience in itself. That brought a smile on my face. The smiling faces in the streets and on the busy roads. A small section standin outside a tea stall havin their doze of a cigarette and tea, sharing the light gossip, a woman selling flowers, the sudden and totally unexpected showers gave more beauty to the flowers. The kids on the pavement playin in the puddle of water looked so thrilled.
I just wanted to continue walkin, as far as my legs and heart could take me!!!!
Am startin on a brand new day

January 29, 2005


A cloud of uncertainty has been shroudin me for a while now. I feel choked, I feel am bein stuffed with somethin and I dont know wat it is. I wish I knew. I know one thing, am not comfortable. Not comfortable one bit.
Am numb.. Wish I was comfortably NUMB!!!

January 27, 2005

Horror Scope!!!

You are a strong person with great values and principles. But all that wouldn’t work this month. Your boss will annouce you that your salary is going to be cut in two, and you are going to work 23 hours a day !. Stay inside and keep your doors and windows locked. Begin to hoard canned food and chips supplies. Get ready to stink and don’t forget to have a shower thrice a day.

You guys are awesome.You rock and you claim to be BUSY with tons of work all the time. But on the other hand, have all the time in the world and write a stupid, (tryin to be funny-Horrorscope) But wat the heck, You will still have people commentin on your blog and claim to ROLL ON THE FLOOR AND LAUGH THEIR ASSES OFF.

Taurus: Bring the world to its knees and what better way to do it than stand on top of Mt. Everest. You will get your bum pinched 15 times before lunch and twice in the afternoon by a school kid! Chances of an old fart tryin to french you is also possible. Get that pepper spray ready.

Gemini: If you’re planning a holiday, this is the best time. Don’t leave out Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire, as a possible stop-over or final destination. Don’t be surprised if you have company there. You will accidently forget your glasses and mistake and old lady for your mother, she would seem happy anyway when you invite her for dinner.

Cancer: Avoid violent anti-capitalist treatment this week. This is a good time to put down those readings of Marx and Trotsky to use. Cleanse your soul and clean your system. Start cleaning your system by drinkin soo much that u throw up on the table and make a complete ass out of yourself. That way You shall have an ever lasting Impression on your friends errr...Clothes and on them.

Leo: Be wary of any clones that you made of yourself in the last twenty-four hours. It’s just not your week. And it’s going to be a lot HARDER as the week progresses. Use the number "eleven as many times as possible this week. You have a speck of food on your cheek. There you go.

Aquarius: It’s time to confront that crisis that’s been threatening your life for the past month or so. Try a breath mint. 7 is your lucky number and Mentos is your new best friend. With all the medical shops closed for the next three days, there is no way your breath is goin to go unnoticed.

Scorpio: All this while you were following one philosophy in life, ‘Accuracy is an embodiment of technological excellence’. But you realized only now that, you still don’t know what it means. You never take NO for an answer, but what to do, that’s the only answer you’ll get all of this month.

Virgo: Due to planetary conflicts, your sign has been accidentally deleted. Until this situation is remedied by the proper celestial entities, why not forge a new birth certificate under a different sign? Sell your stamp collection and make some money..burp loudly at an office dinner and you never know, you might just get the promotion that u've been waitin for, for the last 13 years.

Capricorn: The stars are not very bright for you at the moment. Use powerful lights at home, maybe that would help you see better.Don't trust anyone, not even yourself.Carry a loaded shotgun on your person.Don't pick up your phone and don't get yourself involved in any chain letter scam.

Libra: Watch out for the number ‘9’ as many times as possible this week. No that’s not your lucky lottery number. That’s how many times you would have to get a surgical needle inserted into your body this week.

Sagittarius: It’s a jungle out there this month and you must have seen a lot of horoscopes already. Well if you have then, look what we have in store for you. You are a Pompous Pain in the wrong places and there is just one thing that has to be done. You have no BRAINS.Stop rite now and comment.

From time to time this shall be a regular feature in my blog. GOD BLESS. And get sloshed.

January 22, 2005

It's Been a while..

Am Lovin it..param pam pam pam....tada...(ok those are the sound effects) has been pretty awesome lately. Work has been hectic, but loong weekends are a real bonus. Went movie hoppin last nite, after a REALLY LONG TIME. Wat started off as a lazy friday, really went wild in the evening. Got a call from a few friends and decided to go watch PAGE 3, The movie was ok, not just another bollywood flick-but it did have loads of skin like most of the bollywood movies. The core concept of the movie was good and Konkana Sen has done a super job in the movie and I liked her in this movie more than Mr & Mrs. IYER..
The movie was good, the company I had was better. half way thro the movie, my friend was busy fiddling with her phone, then she had the BIGGEST smile possible when she told me her other friends were there and they have got tickets for another movie, the next show. I remember the times when I was in school, a few friends and I had this bet as to who would sit for the same show more than once...And the bet was on for 300 Rs.. and I remember sitting for DTPH - 8 and a half times...I stayed till the interval for that show when all my other friends dropped out of the bed.(and to make things really gr8 none of my friends knew hindi) hehehe.Oh yea! I had crazy friends in school. And that trend still continues. Stepped out of one movie and then went into watch KISNA. I have been watchin the trailors on tv and found it to be a little Errrr...Interesting. But then Now I change my mind.. Low budget when it comes to costume design, Funky colors...actually make that Crappy colors for the sets and the costume. And terrible acting from vivek Oberoi and a few others.
But there was One BRIGHT(FLAT) SPOT...ISHA SHARVANI.. Oh hubba hubba hubba...She was Good...She comes all of ten mts in the movie, so not too sure bout her acting provess, but she is a brilliant dancer and has the looks to set the screen on fire. My jaw dropped when I saw her hangin on a rope from a tree. Thought she came into movies a year and a half too late. She must have been a super hit had she acted in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. She would have done all the flying from trees stunts on her own, and is she ELASTIC or wat. Wat flexibility.She would have probably won on an oscar for all I care. Heard that she dropped out of school in her 7th grade or somethin to pursue dance. Her mom is also a dancer and she has devoted her whole life to dance. And she sure is good in dance.
Came home after the movie at bout 2 and sat in the balcony listenin to some awesome music. That got me thinkin. wats happenin to me in life? Wat have I been doin? And where am I headed from here on? There are soooooo many things that I would love to do, there are soooo many things that I need to prove for myself and for a million others. For now, just have this to ppl...

January 16, 2005


There is somethin bout havin a long weekend..workin really hard for one whole week..sleepin for ten hours in one week, meetin special friends, drinkin and blowin money...I love all of it except the blowin money part..(am not makin enough to go around and BLOW it atleast now)
This is the third year in a row that am not gettin to celebrate any festival. There has been someone in the family who has been kicking the bucket and well though it's not the missin the festival part that is disturbin...but it is missing that person that is really disturbin at times..Today am missin my grandpa..He was amazing, he was the first person in the whole family who started off givin me pocket money-it started with 25 paise a few years back and ended up with 100rs a month till he passed away a year and a half back. I have had many an interestin talk with him. He was smart, stylish, sophisticated, and intelligent and also very very easy to imitate..I do a carbon copy impersonation of him. Worked really hard and enjoyed life equally. With seven children, He has left behind a wonderful family for me and for the further generations to come..
This post is for the MAN...The driving force of the whole MANIAN family ...
N.V.R.S. MANIAN...Thatha...I miss u.

January 13, 2005


How many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind........

January 07, 2005


"Of the delights of this world, man cares most for Sexual Intercourse,
yet he has left it out of his heaven....."

January 06, 2005

Crazy E-mails!!!

You just find some of the most craziest of mails(read Junk mails) in ur inbox sometimes.. this mornin started off as just another day, was feelin dead after all the work the previous nite and tired..opened my inbox to find this...MY DAY WAS MADE>...Still laughin...and my body hurts..heheheheh
Name: Carla
Weight: 150 lbs
Eyes: Green
Available: Hotel or in your place
From the 3rd to 9th of jan.

Name: Mellissa
Age: 33-37
Weight: 137 lbs
Eyes: Hazel
Available: Hotel
From the 5th to 13th of jan.

January 02, 2005

Jet Set Go!!!

drunk, originally uploaded by Lean Dude With An Attitude.

Two days into the New Year and life is in full swing.
Lots of fluid intake, lots of laughs, lots of music, time spent with ppl I really really care and LOVE...a suprise visit from an Ex flame, amazing conversation in a coffee shop with an interestin person, catchin up with old friends, suprise calls from ppl, gay stalker, old friend stood me up in the bus station, super cool work offers, few thousand hugs from my two little neices, a stomach upset, amazing revelations, tons of gossip, out of balance, out of liquor, out of smoke, out of money, tons of smiles, crazy ppl, funny ppl, weird ppl, stomach upset....
This year sure has started with a BANG...

Gyan in mind: "It's a small world..I am sick of a few ppl...DO I kill them?"