Mind over Matter

A bizarre turn of events

Brings a weeping flower

Yet to bloom, on the verge

The essence seems to have been lost

Amidst the gloomy shadows

A pale, frail being, loses its identity

The voices, reach out, far and wide

The call for help, surpasses the reason

An ability that seems to be submerged

Beneath layers of soliude

Restraining emotions and feelings

Seeking comfort and consolation

The answers aren't easy

The questions don't have a form

The presence overpowers the moment

A movement that is painfully slow

The thrust felt beyond all depths

A lone image stands without a purpose.

TAG

Been at home for nearly three weeks now and well have all the time in the world to do stuff like this. You don't have to have time to read all this. But if you do have the time, then what the heck, go on and read what I have here.

Name: Arvind Iyer (If you didn’t know that, then what in the world are you doing here?
Nickname(s): Iyer, Iyer Man, Leanie

Single or Taken? Hmmmmm. People often get confused on this one and am confused almost all the time. But well I am SINGLE.
Sex: Male

Birthday: 8th April
Blood group: A+

Sign: Aries
Siblings: Elder brother & Younger brother.

Hair color: Black (and pretty long)

Eye color: Dark Brown

Shoe size: 9 (I think)
What are you wearing right now? T-shirt that says (absolute Bangalore) and Tracks. Where do you live? Bangalore, at the moment. From coimbatore (that’s Home)

Have You Ever:-

given anyone a bath? Yup

bungee jumped? No (almost did once and it started to rain)

broken the law? Yes. A few times.
made yourself throw-up? Hmmmmm (wicked grin)

gone skinny dipping? No (but been with a bunch of people who did)

been in the opposite sex's bathroom? Yes. (The perks that my profession gives me at times)

eaten a dog biscuit? Yea. They taste much better than some of the regular biscuits that we eat.

put your tongue on a frozen pole? Naah. From where I come there is no question of me being close to any of that. (does the road side ice cream that looks like one count?)

broken a bone? Yes. A few times. Am an outdoor person, you see.
played truth or dare? Yes. It was always Dare for me

been in a physical fight? Yes. And got badly beaten a few times too and also broken a really hefty man’s nose!!

been in a police car? Yes. Was picked up by the cops when I doing a video shoot without permission.

been on a plane? Yes.
been in a hot tub? Yes

swam in the ocean? Yes.

fallen asleep in college? Oh yea. Who wouldn’t!!!.

cried when someone died? Yes

flashed someone? NO.

lied? Well, we all have to at times. I have too. But not lied that it has hurt someone.

laughed so hard you fell off your chair? Oh yes.

sat by the phone all night waiting for a call? Yes. (those were the days)

saved e-mails? Yes. (a whole lot of them and sent it to a friend on her b’day)

wished you were someone else? No

wished you were a member of the opposite sex? No

been rejected? Hmmmmmm *Scratches Head*
used someone? No. Don’t think I would ever want to do that too.

been cheated on? YUP

done something you regret? Hmmmm. Maybe a couple of things.

First Thing That Comes to Mind:-

Yellow: The song
Blue: The sea
Happy: My family

Autumn: What’s that?

Cow: HOLY?

Have you ever had:-

chicken pox? Yes

sore throat? Yes

cold? Yea
Stitches? Oh yea. Rite on the jaw. Comes with playing serious cricket I guess.

bloody nose? Yes
sex? Hmmmmm (baseball comes to mind) *evil grin*

Do you:-

believe in love at first sight? Hmmmmm
enjoy parks? Yea, I do. But don’t see many these days. Or see a reason to go to one.

like picnics? Yes..

like school? School was always not for me. Don’t like doing something that everyone blindly follows and does.

hate anyone? Yes. A few and I really do. (I know they are not worth it. But yes I DO HATE THEM)

Who:-

is the last person that called you? My mom. Wanted me to come down and take my coffee. (You didn’t mean the phone did you?)
Makes you laugh the most? A few friends (they know who they are)

can make you feel better no matter what? Am the agony unc. So its my job to make everyone feel better.
was the last person you touched? Been in bed rest for the last three weeks. So nothing to write home about. Bleh.

you hugged? Refer previous koshtin.

you yelled at? A client who kept calling me and asking me for his payment.
told you they loved you? Hmmmm. They told me. Why would I tell you?

Do You/Are You:-

like yourself? I think am cool and I love it.

dye your hair? NO

have piercings below the waist? No. (don’t think I would too)

stolen anything over $50? Someone’s heart. That’s worth a lot more. *this is where all the girls who read my blog go, awwwwwwwwww*

like ice cream? At times.

Which is your favourite flavour? Black current.
like cold coffee? NO. Coffee is supposed to be sipped real hot.

smoke? Yes

have beer? So tempted to say All the time. But yes.

obsessive? Bout wat?

compulsive? Bout wat?

depressed? Never

suicidal? Get out of here!!

Random:-

Prized possession: Maya. My bike. My only possession, literally.
Last thing you said? Talk to you in a bit. I need a smoke.

What is beside you? An mp3 player churning out loud metallica, my cellphone, a book on physiotherapy, my cd collection, a mug of hot coffee, mint and a pack of cigarettes.
Last thing you ate? A really awesome south indian lunch.

Are you right handed or lefty? Right(ly) handed.

Favourite song: There are quite a lot. All time favorite is Yellow – Cold play.
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: A broken back (as of now)
Time started: When I was really bored.

Time finished: When am even more bored.

SNAP

A routine morning
Heavy smog in the air
Maya sailin across the road

Reach the destination
the days line up
running on my mind

The morning elixir on my hand
Call from home
Too engrossed with both

The passage to work
always comes with a Catch
realized what that meant, today.

The shutter is reluctant
Doesnt wanna work i guess
A sudden pull and....

SNAP

If I was a movie...
Id be Split Wide Open

If I was a book....
Id be Catch 24 (am not 22)

If I was a doc...
Id say, Dude, your back is screwed !!!

For my family

There is a strange feeling going through my head at this point of time. It’s been a while since I felt this way. And I love the feeling. Life has come a full circle and I just had to make its presence felt. The wave is just subsiding and the storm is overpowering. Over the years, I have spent time with a number of people, family and friends. And the learning that has transpired makes me the person I am right now. Physical, emotional and mental strength comes from strange sources that you never knew existed. They have been right in front of my eyes and all I had to do was to open my eyes a little wider and I see a world, a world full of wonderful things, amazing people and happiness.

The way I lead my life has always been in tune with my spiritual seeking. I seek truth, I seek life and I seek joy, and I don’t think am the only one who does that. I have been blessed with a family and an upbringing that has helped me understand the joy that this life and birth has to offer. It beats me that when my head is so clear at this juncture, there is still something that is missing. I know that I don’t have everything and I don’t want to have everything. What I have with me right now is something that I would cherish for eternity. This is unbelievable and I just don’t have enough words to describe the feeling. A family that has given me all the freedom, a proper education and the thought that I can lead my life the way I want to and how ever I want to. Guess it’s this freedom that has brought in a lot of self control in me that I just don’t want to misuse and let the people dear and close to me, down.

After packing my bags and letting my thoughts take me places, I am in a position to say that things are falling into place. On one of my late night conversations with my cousin, I was discussing about how our lives have changed but still remain the same. The time where a single earning member in the family was raising three kids. Three different kids, each with a different point of view about life and with different priorities, co existing under one roof. A woman with the strength and heart of a lion to hold all the four and still give us everything, when we didn’t have everything. But not once did she make us realize that we didn’t have everything. We didn’t have to.

It brings a shiver in my body to think about all those times now. I close my eyes now and here are the things I see…. Mom running around the house, dad coming home late from work, elder brother not home yet, younger one painting something on his art note, me sitting in front of the television set watching a repeat telecast of India’s tour to west Indies from 1990, people coming in and out of our house, endless coffee making sessions for mom, letter from brother, friends, smiles, hospitals, my dog, war with the younger one, relatives, religion, all these and more come in my mind as flashes. It takes a lot of strength for someone to have been in the hospital so many times in their lives, either for their health condition or to just be there and take care of the others in the hospital. To have gone up to the doors of heaven and fight with the gatekeeper there for the sake of three little ones and an innocent man in her life. Come back and push herself to the limit to ensure there is never a sad moment in our life. Brings tears in my eyes thinking about all that. How much would she have gone through, how much would she have compromised, how much? She always had just one thing to say, the three sons she had were everything for her and I would believe her without blinking an eyelid. A teacher, a doctor, a mom, a wife, a tutor, a real estate agent, a believer, a lawyer, my mom has been all this and more. She is what I call everything.

A man with a lot of words, tall, fair and warm, that’s how I would express my father. An advocate by profession, a wonderful man in person, he is what every man wants to grow up to become. All my life, not once has he raised his voice or his hand on any of his three kids and his partner in life. He has nice things to talk about and share with everyone, but an angry man when he sits on his car and travels in his city that he calls home. I sometimes pity the ones on the road when he is driving, but he is harmless. A pious man, who is proud of his roots and his religion. A man who has faced many situations to be where he is right now. Loves music and Krishna sweets (too bad he is off the latter). A good father, a family man, a very good lawyer and a great influence to many.

Guru, friend, philosopher, guide, baba that’s how I would explain my brother. Intense, warm, loving and an unbelievable person. So happy to be born in this family with him as my brother. I always seem to be short of words when am trying to talk about baba. He is everything to me, someone who I always look up to and someone who I know would always be there for me. I guess there can be no words to describe baba. You have to sit with him and listen to him talk and the world (and everything beyond) becomes such a wonderland. To his three lovely angels and an extremely warm and caring wife, thank you for everything. (And am coming there this Christmas)

Software engineer, younger sibling, go-getter (come what may), kid. That pretty much sums up the younger one.
I don’t know the feeling in my mind right now is that which is full of warmth and love and I think my family means more to me than anything else in this world. Guess lying down at home without stepping out of the house and resting with a sore back gives you all the time to reflect on the person you are and the wonderful past that one has had.
To everyone who has been a part of my family and who has been a part of my life. This is an ode to each and every single one of you. The good times are on.