June 16, 2009

Top stories at this hour

Here’s my take on all things/ people making the news in the last 48 hours.

1.India crashes out of the T20 World Cup

Aaney dhey (bring it on/ let them come) yeh cup kahin nahin jaayega, was the chant till about two days back in all the channels. The promo (a very badly shot one I must add) was sticking out like a sore thumb and in addition to that, Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone’s ‘Love Aaj Kal’ publicity promo talking about the same was just too much to handle. I think people never expected India to win the last T20 World Cup in South Africa (though people might not agree to that fact). India was a team that had no idea about the concept of T20 before the World Cup and the Big Guns were not in the team. It is not to be questioned that India did play extremely well and I guess the expectation factor and the pressure factor or the lack of it during the last World Cup helped.

This time it was way too much. People started discussing this year’s World Cup even during IPL, oops, my bad, this year’s DLF IPL. Every other team (at least the coaching staff) paid attention to the weaknesses and strong points of the Indian players and they were ready to come at us hard (and Short). The likes of Raina & Rohit, Dhoni & Ishant they were exposed and made to look clumsy. This tournament should be a wake up call for the team and its members and they should not take their place in the team for granted and leave their advertising commitments aside and practice hard (no more optional practice sessions please).

One thing disappointing from the whole saga is how the Indian media is at it with its post-mortem of the Indian team’s dismal performance. The same media who were praising the magic of Dhoni was seen ridiculing his captaincy, his batting, his way of handling the media and well his hair style. Had the Ravindra Jadeja move at number 4 worked, everyone would have praised his captaincy and would have gone gaga over how he sent someone to stabilize the innings, but now he is being blamed for what he did. Except for three new players, the Indian team that played in this year’s World Cup was the same as the previous one. I rest my case.

2.“Shiney Ahuja raped me” says a maid:

An 18, actually make that 19, or wait a minute is it 17 year old maid (read domestic help) accuses Shiney Ahuja of raping her. The news channels were bored having Arun Lal, Madan Lal, Jadeja, Saba Karim, Anil Kumble, Akash Chopra and every other Indian cricketer who has retired from International cricket with their broken English dissect the Indian Team’s performance needed something more spicy. So now they have this allegation (or truth) to dig deep and splash all over their ugly news channels.

With each passing minute the age of the victim seems to be changing. Shiney Ahuja’s statements that were recorded apparently in the police station also seem to be contradictory. News about how he was earlier warned by the police after he misbehaved with a junior artist on the sets of a film in a drunken state seems to be doing the rounds now. I was talking to a friend this morning and he said Shiney Ahuja was ‘Bai-Sexual’, didn’t know whether to laugh or just be diplomatic and not comment. Another friend had a tweet saying “I really hope Shiney Ahuja's "Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi" is only a movie title”, now that was bang on.

The Indian media seems to seriously ape its western counterparts when it comes to Bollywood. They want to show everything that’s happening in the industry, they want to gossip, they want the latest scoops and inside stories (when there is none, they don’t care and they make up their own). And with news like this I can see Barkha Dutt rubbing her hands in glee and waiting to swallow the mic and scream her lungs out. Not to forget all the other jokers who forget they have a mic and they really don’t need to scream and shout to make a point (if only they had one). I hope the truth comes out soon and we are spared from these reporters saying the same thing over and over and over again (till even they get bored of it) and showing the same footage (which looks like it has been shot by a 6 year old on a Handy cam gifted by his grand mother).

3.Racist attacks in Australia:

Australia seems to be in the news all the time. There has to be something about that place. Really. First it was Symonds who got kicked out of the Australian squad two days before the World Cup, followed by the first attack that had an Indian student hospitalized after he was bashed up by a bunch of Australians sending him into a coma and battling for life and then back again after they crashed out of the T20 World Cup (just realized every single thing revolves around cricket these days)

It has been three weeks since the first news broke out of an Indian student being abused and attacked and now the count is at 14. Fourteen attacks in three weeks, cars being burnt, glasses being broken, taxi drivers being racially abused and stabbed to death, college kids fearing for dear life (after paying a bomb to come and study and add to that all the hospital bills). It’s a sad state of affairs at the moment. Indians are a fantastic lot. I mean they seem to be all over the world (and that too in HUGE GIGANTIC numbers). I have to get back to another cricket related incident here (to just make my point). The England team when it walked in at Lords near the Nursery end was booed by the Indian supporters. I mean we are talking the home team taking to the ground, in the home of cricket and something like this happens. (Wow. Wish I was there in the ground too). The world (Australia in particular) needs to understand that, there is nothing they can do to stop us Indians from moving in. We will come, alone, in groups, as a pack, and we shall fill your land. We are happy doing it. We have the best pasture here and we still like to look for more. The problem lies with the concept of Immigration, Visas, Passport, different rules, and different laws. If there comes a day when all you need to do is pack your bags, book your tickets and just go wherever you want, for however long you want, I don’t think any such attacks would happen. Home is everywhere. You just need to be a free bird, a free spirit. But I know it is far-fetched but might just be a reality sometime.

If it’s any source of comfort, I have a bunch of Indian friends in Australia at the moment and they are all alive, safe, and having a blast. In fact they were out partying last evening with a bunch of Australians and returned home to their rooms only at 5 this morning (with a couple of them also making faces at a Chinese waiter).

Oh. I have another cricket related statement here. A friend sent this SMS to me the day India lost against England. “11 Indians beaten in England" would have a dual meaning these days, I guess”.

June 03, 2009

The Larry Story

There once lived a man named Larry
People thought he was very Hairy
He wobbled around with a jacket in May
That was because he was happy and Gay.

The more he talked people would Stare
And everyone called him a grizzly Bear
Over and over, More and More
When he sleeps, he sure does Snore.

You could see him wear a Cap
He always drank beer from a Tap
They say he had a heart of Gold
But poor guy was just getting Old.

His house was next to the Clock Tower
The old fox sure had a lot of Power
This is the story of a man named Larry
What do you know, he nailed a Fairy.