February 28, 2005

An ode- a Code

Floors above floors
Dark lights succumb you
One bright light from the edge.

Are you the edge or is it just ME?
Pale looks on face
Straight as an arrow

What words I try and remember
All too bright, glaring so to speak
In your face, is that how you like it?

Things moving, no no revolving
Pieces of dirt strewn on the mat
Life, oh yea thats wat they are

Why are you looking at me like that?
Sharin wasnt this fun ever
Oh, Now I know. This is it!!

Why am I not heard? Why do I see it, why do I touch it?
Why is it there and not here? That is bright - way too bright for me.

Oh yea I see stars again - The one I have heard - NOW - I have seen.

A tribute to Sandy and Rolfy

February 24, 2005

Param param paraaaaaaa....

Work, editing, work, studio, recording, photo sessions, screen test, friends, coffee shops, sleepin at odd hours, not sleepin for four days in a row, forgettin my blog password, no bloghopping for a week, from being online for ten hours a day to not coming online at all in a week, missed chattin with online dudes and dudettes, running around in the city searching for a printer at 2 in the mornin, confused with work, confused with projects, confused with what am goin to do two months from now, completing my final projects, working on three other final project submissions, high on life, high on coffee, high on spirits, got my BIG BREAK, offer to act in a movie, absofreakin lutely excited and over the moon,BROKE (now that's not new)!!!

And yea finally am back from my little hibernation mode. Was in one compeletely different world, a world where your future flashes before you and it feels strange, It feels weird, it feels amazing and it leaves with butterflies in your tummy. I have been an internet junkie and a blog addict for a very long time. Things just started happenin way too fast for my own liking and I came to a position where my frequency of blogging and the necessity of blog hoppin came from other sources and not from my heart. SO thats when I decided to take off for a little while to try and see if I could get the transition I want from my life and my blog.

I started bloggin, since I loved to write, It was an avenue where I could just walk in and out when ever I want to and write and NOT write what and when ever I wanted to. I have to say, the world of blogging has revealed a whole new world to me. Everytime it unfolds, am subject to wonderful ideas, thoughts, and people. For many blogging is more like maintaining a journal, more like a day to day presentation of the happenings, and for many it is their thoughts, and a major part of life. I would say blogging for me is like COFFEE, its like DOPE, it gets you going, it gets you thinkin and it keeps you charged up. And I would continue to get HIGH. But I would do it at my own pace. I would do it the way I WANT TO...and I would just take it one thing at a time.

A year full of wonderful memories. A year of meeting thro this world a whole lot of amazing people. Special people. Weird people. Happy people. A year of positive energy, A year of happiness. A year of gettin mind fucked at times. A year of just being myself - as always. A special thanx to all my friends who drop into this world and who have kept this world alive and who have made my day on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION...LOVEEEEEEEE U ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL......
HAPPY B'DAY TO Moi BLOG.....HAPPY B'DAY TO Moi BLOG.....Happy B'day Happy B'day Happy B'day to Moi BLOG!!!!

February 15, 2005

The Swarowski dumplings

Sitting too comfortably, positioned like a baby in a mothers womb, on my 'Lazing’ couch, the spoon from the cup in my hand pricked my eye and dragged me rudely out of my dreamland. Peacefully noticing the view from my window gave my at most solace. Nope… I couldnt see the beach, or the mountains, not a lush park, not even a bunch of hot girls drying themselves after a shower!! Though, I was one of those lucky ones in the city who didn’t have their neighbours drying clothes peep into their room. In fact I had - MY guava tree.
Right now I was straining my eyes and contemplating the colour of the gum that I spat out last night and left on the tip of my favourite branch (Guess am not that great a spitter- dont look for that word in the dictionary!). I know the path to remove it from that tiny arm of my tree was not exactly treacherous, but, I think I;ll leave it there and see how chewinggum reacts to natures' 'calamities'.
MY guava tree was nice, with light green leaves flaunting their beauty to the dark green ones. The guavas werent there always, only from January to December. But thats o.k- the wait wasnt too long till the next bunch of guavas would sprout out for the squirrels and for ME. I had named the squirrels Tom, Dick, Tom's Dick, and Dick's Dick. Why (?)...now thats a completely different story.
Something was odd about these fruits, it wasnt something unfathomable, but to me it was unique. Maybe a Gardner with his knowledge would scoff at my fascination…but the fact remains...the guavas were not the usual cream coloured but rather PINK from the inside! (Pinker than a babys butt) And the seeds looked like Swarowski crystals adorning a beautiful rose coloured blanket.
One thing which seemed even more intriguing about these parcels of blessings was what I read in a magazine the other day. It said that one should never share a guava because only one seed in the complete fruit contains all the 'Essence' ! The one and only magic seed?!! Even the squirrels knew that, they would not leave a single fruit untouched, but they would never finish even one completely. Like they had this 'Radar' fixed to their obnoxious buck teeth which could tell them how to locate the secret seed! The seed that contains ALL the blessings.
Amazing how 'Lazy me' picked up a pen and jotted down stuff about fruits, branches and leaves… thought this little world would remain only within me… but then who can refuse the pestering requests of all u blogheads out there WHO WANT AN UPDATE all the time!!! hehe

*Drum Roll* ppl, thanx a lot for all those amazing comments for my previous post..I was really havin a tough time copin with a lot of stress from different corners...but then it is over now(I think) and long forgotten. I have just moved on and now have traced back to the route that I so love takin and walkin alone...but this time I would be smilin as always...and smilin coz I know my life is back on track and wonderful ppl like u are all watchin my butt....errr I mean my back..Cheers all and well I also had THE BEST valentines day ever....worked for 18 hours in office...NOW BEAT THAT!!!!!

February 11, 2005


I have a huge LUMP in my throat...It's killin me..The pain is unbearable, I have been a zombie this past week. Everyday I wake up and I hate to think bout wats goin to happen. I have never been like this and I don't like this feelin ONE BIT!! I could see flashes of my life just teasin me from time to time and givin me the finger. I've met sooo many ppl in my life. Some have changed the way I think, some have changed the way I work and many other changes in me have all been caused by my friends. I love meetin new ppl and I have always done that. But is that a crime? I have been honest with most of them...Welll ALL OF THEM, and is honesty such a Huge Fuckin mistake?
I speak my mind and I don't think before I talk...Err yea, I do have a predominant 'FOOT-IN-MOUTH' disease...but that's how I am...and that's how I have always been. And whethere u like it or not...I cannot change myself for any god damn thing. My mind is full of crazy things at the moment. people have been acting weird...I have been acting weird... Have I been leadin someone on? Have I been led by someone?
I just wanna vanish..I wanna just go away for sometime and not come back...For a looong loooong time..I need clarity...I need time.....and I just need Peace...
*Thanks to a special friend...who offered me some amount of clarity* But am sorry I really bugged u enough for one evenin....
I might be gone for a while...this is not a break from bloggin...this is not a break from things...and I am not runnin away...this is more like just takin some time to look around and tell ppl I have been HONEST- and I will continue bein that way...

February 06, 2005

Natural Shades

"Walking along the desolate stretch of tawny beige sand
Lining the vast expanse of turquoise blue sea
I watched the spumy clouds cradle the ivory moon and
The crimson ball with its copper pink and molten red ray
Go down the horizon.

While the waters presented a dazzling show
When fulvous yellow turned into fuscous orange
Hazel brown poured into scarlet red
Myrtle green melted into puce orange and
Gentian violet blended with misty mauve
The spectacle continued till the losing and reforming patterns of platinum and silver

Engulfed the velvet darkness and
Welcomed the azure sky."

There are so many things that happen in life. One day we wake up to the news of the tsunami and the next day we are back to living our life , like how we used to before. But for me life has become much more meaningful after 26 dec. I look at life in a much different perspective than I ever dreamt of. I have been busy with shooting for a launch promo for a new show that the channel is plannin to come up with. So I was out all over chennai the last couple of days. saw a lot of things, did a lot of work, we had plans of shooting a few shots in the beach. Went up to a fishermen's hamlet on the way to mahabalipuram and we had the shoot there. Sittin there with the local villagers and talkin bout their experience of the tsunami brought back a cold shiver down my spine. How difficult it must have been for them, and how it would take a lifetime for them to get out of the shock completely. But I saw how beautiful the beach was. It was calm, there was silence everywhere..My crew called the silence an EERIE silence. The beach always had that silence. That's why I enjoy my walk in the beach. As I was sittin there, movin away from the crew, the ppl and sittin in the sand, lookin at the horizon, my mind raced a million races with life. I could see flashes of a things to come. ppl in my life, I remembered ppl who mean somethin to me. I was just engulfed by the whole surrounding. It was magic. It was mystic, it was simply breathtaking.
Life is too precious. And I know the value of life now..and I know the value of my life more than anything else now!!!

February 01, 2005

Am startin on a brand new day!!!

"There are Ideas and there are Ideas. Whats the difference you ask?
When you unearth a real Idea - You'll know it".
A real Idea burns. It consumes you. There’s no other way to describe it. It roars and rips and tears and scalds till all you want to do is get it out of your system. And once it’s out, you can only stand back and admire its smouldering beauty.
It rained today (still is, drizzling) and it feels nice, to smell the air when the first few drops fall on the sand, the fresh look the whole place gets. It is breathtaking to see the drops still hanging from the leaves and the blades of grass. The whole world looks calm, composed and tranquil. My mind is racing against time, against deadlines, against pressures and still there is a sense of joy in my heart. The dark clouds that were looming over me a few days back were ofcourse the rain clouds. Now am glad that it rained.
I decided to walk to work this mornin, felt the cold drizzle on my face, on my hair. Felt the water running down from my long hair and on my shoulders and on my back. The chill I felt in my spine with the drops gently tracing its way down was an experience in itself. That brought a smile on my face. The smiling faces in the streets and on the busy roads. A small section standin outside a tea stall havin their doze of a cigarette and tea, sharing the light gossip, a woman selling flowers, the sudden and totally unexpected showers gave more beauty to the flowers. The kids on the pavement playin in the puddle of water looked so thrilled.
I just wanted to continue walkin, as far as my legs and heart could take me!!!!
Am startin on a brand new day